Many couples struggle to address their concerns without getting confrontational This is the reason why I am counselor in the field of Denver marriage counselor, I assist couples in trying to help them improve their communication and to find solutions.
The most important factors for turning conflict into a connection is sharing vulnerability, rather than angry and accusatory being open to listening, not defending yourself and managing emotional turbulence.
Table of Contents
Practice Patience
The deliberate practice of patience takes time but you can put the knowledge to use in everyday tasks. If someone stands you up in line or requires you to wait in line at a restaurant, you can use your time in an optimistic mindset and focusing on positive thoughts.
Patience can help you to develop skills that will allow you to pay attention and to respond with compassion when dealing with situations or conflicts that occur in relationships, thereby improving the overall quality of your relationships.
Develop self-regulation and deferred gratification abilities vital for long-term success. If you apply this principle to your relationships, demonstrating patience can create an environment of respect and trust that can lead to lasting relationships.
Take Accountability for Your Own Actions
A lack of accountability in relationships can result in a constant loop of resentment and disagreement particularly if both parties are reluctant to discuss issues that could create friction.
Accountability issues can lead to individuals shifting the blame onto someone else or their situation instead of taking full responsibility of their actions. When this happens it’s time for an open discussion regarding the needs of both parties as well depending on the role you play in your relationship.
The conversation you have with your partner is an the chance to establish trust by demonstrating your willingness to discuss difficult issues with one another and discuss unhealthy excuses or make a long-term effort to change. Before you begin the discussion locate a quiet place where you and your partner can talk with no interruptions, or distracting from other people.
Count to Three Before You Speak
Effective communication requires respect for language, speaking your thoughts and feelings without being antagonistic, and demonstrating an understanding of your partner’s viewpoint These are all an effective dialog which will lessen conflict within your relationship.
Beware of getting into a heated argument between you and your spouse by using what Sommerfeldt calls “a timeout”. This allows you to take a deep breath, and use the pause button before making any statements that may be later escalated into an argument.
The chances of you being able to discuss important issues can be increased If you’re free of distractions during discussions Try putting away your phone in a separate area or setting them to silence. This will allow each of you concentrate on the subject in front of you more quickly.
Be Respectful of Your Partner’s Point of View
Some couples view conversations as fights and try to win, which leads them to defensiveness and closing down. Building respect, empathy and an understanding of the perspective of your partner when disagreements arise can help to de-escalate these heated discussions and prompt the other party to think before they respond.
Sommerfeldt recommends that you take the time to gauge your temperature of mood before speaking to your partner regarding something that is distressing or troubling you to help you process and manage your own feelings and relax prior to discussing the issue with them.
A part of the plan for a relationship It’s equally important to ensure that both you and your spouse decide on a way to let you know when discussions get too heated and require to be temporarily stopped to maintain your peace. By doing this, you can prevent disagreements from exploding into full force and give each of you time to recoup before discussions with calm minds.
Practice Active Listening
Empathizing and listening are essential capabilities for both interpersonal and business relationships, but they are one of the biggest challenges of effectively communicating – especially when there is a disagreement.
To improve your listening skills it is essential to remove distractions like your television or phone and concentrate at the person speaking. Make use of nonverbal signals like smiling or using eye contact to indicate that you’re genuinely interested. Nodding can also demonstrate this. Also, rephrasing the words of someone else helps to ensure that you comprehend the viewpoint of the person speaking.
After your partner has completed speaking, give feedback that will strengthen the bond and to encourage more dialogue.
Apologize For Your Mistakes
It can be difficult to apologize to do when we think we’ve been wrong, but it is essential that if your actions have caused pain to someone else, even if you did not know it you apologize to show respect for their feelings and desire to repair any harm caused through your actions.
An apology can also prevent future conflicts through setting expectations regarding what is acceptable in your relationship, and assisting your partner to feel secure and safe. This will help them feel secure.
Many may be concerned that launching an apology will first remove the blame in a dispute that involves several wrongs by both sides. However an honest apology can often ease tension and bring back positive feelings in the midst of a conflict.
Practice Active Problem-Solving
Recognizing and confirming the feelings of your partner is important, and often more beneficial than trying to come up with solutions immediately.
If one of the partners is always trying to solve issues for the other This can cause the other partner to feel powerless over their situation and feeling manipulated and causing them to develop feelings of resentment and reduce confidence in themselves and their significant others.
If you are having serious discussions with your companion make sure to keep distractions to a minimum whenever possible. Make sure your phones are on silent, and turn off the television, if possible, to allow you to concentrate on the conversation without getting involved in heated arguments. If your communication skills require improvement, consult a couple counselor who can provide ideas, suggestions and also a safe place to talk about difficult topics.
